Animo vs Roger: The Series
by I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Summary: Enjoy the smackdown of the century, demented deadbeat doctor versus angry chubby landlord who existed in one episode. We're gonna milk it for all its worth.
1. Round 1

I don't own any Ben 10 characters, nor do I claim.

We join our maladjusted mad scientist, Doctor Animo, as he was sitting on his butt one day while stuffing his face with Kung Pao chicken and watching TV instead of working restlessly on his Transmodulator. There came a knock upon his door.

"Who dares?" he spat, along with some chewed shreds of chili peppers.

He got up and threw open the door to see his annoying landlord person, Roger.

"Animo, you're three months behind on the rent," Roger said with his palm out. "I've given you a grace period, but can't help but notice you don't seem to be showing any initiative whatsoever. Now my sympathies are over. Pay up or move out!"

Doctor Animo grunted noncommittally and tried to shut the door. Roger squeezed his foot through and forced it back open.

"Hey! I said pay the rent!" Now Roger was inside the apartment. A horrific stink hit his nose like a punch from Evander Holyfield. He covered it with his hands and gagged. "My God! It smells like shit in here!"

"Get out, you fat asshole," Doctor Animo commanded.

"Pay the money, you severely mental weirdo, or I call the cops." Roger whipped out an old cell phone from the ancient year of 2006. He shook it threateningly.

Doctor Animo frowned. He grabbed his Transmodulator off the nearby work table. He held it and pointed to it.

"This is my Transmo-"

Roger kicked it out of his hands, karate style. No, really.

Doctor Animo's mouth dropped open as he watched it hit the floor and break. Nearly 18 months of work, down the drain in a split-second. Because his landlord chose at that moment to explore his inexplicable potential at high kicking. He was that agile for a middle aged, otherwise out of shape guy. Doctor Animo stared dumbfounded at Roger. His mouth worked up and down but made no words until a half a minute passed. Then he erupted into a angrish laden fury while waving his arms wildly.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Doctor Animo shouted after he could once again make real words with his mouth. "You just...you just...WHAT THE FUCK? You didn't even know what it DID! I DIDN'T EVEN FINISH TELLING YOU WHAT IT DID!"

"Hey, pal. I do a parody of what I'm written to in the original story," Roger said gruffly while straightening his tie. "And it's all completely ridiculous either way. Like I could actually lift my leg high enough to do a damn karate kick. So, uh. What was that thing anyway? You a member of the Moose Lodge or somethin'?"

"THAT WAS MY TRANSMODULATOR!" Doctor Animo covered his face in his hands. He let out a muffled howl of frustration.

"Yeah, I don't care. If you don't have any money, then out you go." Roger opened the door. A sudden freezing wind came blowing in. "Aaah, that's cold! Where'd this freak blizzard come from? It was July a few minutes ago!"

"Plot convenience," Doctor Animo sobbed. "My life's work! You ruined it! Ben Tennyson was supposed to do that. Not some nameless landlord!"

"Hey! I have a name. It was in the credits!" He pointed to himself. "ROGER! Look, I've got places to be, so just say your line about your beloved pet animals and then get the hell out already," he said in an annoyed tone before tapping his watch.

"I love my pets," Doctor Animo read from his script in a bland unwilling monotone. "They are the love of my life. I will miss them, blah blah, Doctor Animo starts crying hysterically as per the original author's fetish, blah blah," he finished as he threw the script away and headed for the door.

Roger smirked as he watched Animo head out into the cold dressed in his standard casual wear. "Maybe that hot head of yours'll keep you warm at night, weirdo! Meanwhile, I'll be sleeping on my therapeutic mattress I bought thanks to folks that pay their rent." He laughed. "Oh wait, I was supposed to think that last line."

Doctor Animo walked out into the roaring inexplicable July blizzard. "Time to die," he said and laid down.

(Several hours later)

Doctor Animo woke up in, wow, this is pushing past the barriers of illogical and going right into the 5th dimension, his parents' old house. Laying in his childhood bed, with his stuffed toy froggies nearby.

"What the shit?" he muttered.

He looked around in confusion and mild apprehension. He grabbed one of the cuddly stuffed frogs that the original narrative heavily implied were his only friends in his tragically abusive childhood, boo hoo. White male villain's stereotypical burden. He turned upon hearing footsteps to see what the author quite hilariously implies through writing to be generic clones of Animo who look roughly the same, such unfathomable creativity right there, standing at his bedside.

"Mother? Father? You're still alive? And you look exactly like shitty copies of me dressed in black! Boy, just like Sublimino's parents. What a coincidence. Almost like the original author sucks at imagination like every narcissist fuckbag who runs around fandom dissing everyone else with actual creative talent. Jealousy, bitterness, lack of subtlety. Checklist filled."

"Oh, darling, we conveniently popped into the plot and somehow found you buried beneath three feet of snow. We rescued you and took you home instead of a hospital. You almost died," his mother said in an elderly Zsa Zsa Gabor voice. She hugged her son. "You see, just because a man is a villain it does not mean you need to come up with a convenient and dull tragic abusive childhood backstory for him. Some men grow up with the most loving families but they turn out to be bad seeds anyhow. They don't need made up excuses for their actions." She smothered her son with kisses.

Animo frowned. He choked back a sob. He wiped at the corner of his eye. "I almost died because my idiot of a landlord threw me out of my apartment into a random July blizzard. He broke my Transmodulator! That was my life's work. He's such a bully!"

"Oh, poor baby. What ever did you do to deserve such treatment?" His mother hugged him tightly again.

"Absolutely nothing! Except...I did refuse to pay my rent," he muttered.

"Well, you should have paid your rent, Aloysius," said his father in a wise and fatherly tone. Also stereotypically Jewish. "You have to learn one day, the world does not revolve around you and your little whims. You have to follow the rules of society or you get in trouble."

Doctor Animo threw off the covers. "That's it! I can't deal with this! You always treat me like shit! I hate it here! Everyone always bullies me and is so mean! By that I'm implying the slightest bit of criticism against any of my actions is bullying to me!" He burst into explosive tears. He looked at his mother. "Joan Crawford reference," he spat.

She gasped and put a hand to her mouth. His father and his mother exchanged glances. They watched their wayward son storm off.

His father sighed. "I told you, that boy's gone crazy inside the head. He needs therapy, not running around all over the place as he pleases. He's gonna turn into a danger to someone one day." He rubbed his wife's back as she pulled out a handkerchief to dab her eyes with.

Doctor Animo ran while sobbing hysterically back out the door into the freezing cold. He ran down the street for hours. He threw himself down into a ditch and laid there.

"I'd rather be dead than in another stupid story like this that tries to acknowledge my many flawed fanfiction characterizations via comedic step-by-step breakdown of the original story," he sobbed until he passed out and stupidly got hypothermia.

He woke up yet again, this time inside a hospital. He saw that he was handcuffed to the bed. "What?" He saw three people standing at his bedside. "You!"

Ben, Gwen, and Max Tennyson returned his gaze.

"We rescued you from the inexplicable July blizzard and took you here. Of course you're under arrest now," Max said.

Doctor Animo pouted. "Why did you rescue me?"

"Because, dummy. We're heroes. Heroes save bad guys too, even if they don't deserve it," Ben said.

"I wish I was dead!" Doctor Animo whined.

Maybe in the next fic.

The End


	2. Round 2

"IT'S FEEDING TIME, YOU FAT WARTY MORONS," Doctor Animo announced one day to his dearest pets which he adored with every fiber of his physical being as reinterpreted by yaoi obsessed self-insertion weeaboos who claim to watch this show as they simultaneously prove how little they know or care about it. He dumped bugs into his frogs' tanks and tossed some fish flakes into the aquarium tank of floating dead fish. "Whoops. Forgot about these ones for too long." He shrugged.

He heard a distinctive kitty meyowl. It's a meow crossed with a yowl. He placed his hand to his ear in an exaggerated manner.

"Hark! A kitty cat!" He ran to his front door and opened it to see a mangy black cat crossing his path. "Good thing for you I am a man of practical science and do not consider superstitions. Except when I do."

He grabbed the cat and brought it inside.

"Aren't you an adorable little fuzzy butt? Yes you are! Yes you are! With your bright little pink butthole you'll try to shove in my face, yes you are." He nuzzled his cheek against the cat's head. "I'm going to call you Author Insert Name because I have a growing suspicion the original author had or has a cat named Author Insert Name. It follows a very long established logical pattern."

He danced around with Author Insert Name in his arms.

"I LOVE ANIMALS SO MUCH! SPECIFICALLY KITTIES!" he shouted. "IT'S CANON! SUCK IT, HATERS!" He lowered the cat. "I love feeding strays. It's not so I can trap them to use for my experiments. It's because I'm an animal lover and you can easily interpret this from the canon."

He skipped merrily around the section of the original fic that was nothing more than the author gushing about cats and how much they, I mean, Animo loves them and how well he will take care of them and how he would love to cuddle up to that dear kitty-witty every night. My God. Stop already. This is embarrassing. Mayhaps stick to 'original' fic instead of stealing copyrighted characters to turn them into your obvious self-inserts and force them to do everything you do IRL.

What should happen to ruin the moment, but an inconveniently timed knock upon the door. Doctor Animo opened it and frowned deeply when he saw...oh, you know who it is already.

"Pay your rent already, asshole," said Roger.

Doctor Animo slammed the door in Roger's face. "No. I want to play with my new kitty."

He continued to smile and gush about how adorable the cat was. Like he would do in canon, not the author's obvious self-insert fantasy which they have repeatedly asserted is actual canon. Seriously. This is a whole new level of Argost and Munya are kawaii uguu yaoi perpetually weeping tragic gay lovers because I say so but also have conveniently reinterpreted the creator of the show's complex characterization into little more than face value tropes to assert my own masturbation fantasy as canon. Good thing there was nobody to ship Animo with or we'd be getting the same rapey domestic abuse underwear fetish stories shoved down our throats on a weekly basis. If you don't get any of that above reference, consider yourself extremely LUCKY.

"I love cats," Doctor Animo reaffirmed to the audience of disbelievers. "I DO! I LOVE THEM!" He hugged Author Insert Name tightly. "MY KITTY! THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR'S KITTY! Obvious self-insertion through canon characters! It's the only thing I know how to write! I'm the best author in the world!"

The front door unlocked and opened. Roger stepped in, bearing his teeth in challenge. "I have a passkey, you psychotic idiot!" He raised it threateningly.

Doctor Animo squealed like a frightened little girl or 34 year old woman with severe issues and a superiority complex. He clasped Author Insert Name to his chest. "Several stupid lines of dialogue I'm not speaking," he said. He sobbed upon envisioning Roger barring animals from the apartment complex. He couldn't bear the idea of living without them. He gasped when Roger grabbed his cat away.

"Look, I've given you a lot of leeway before, Animo, but this ends here. You're not bringing this flea-ridden stray into my apartment complex!" He pointed at the cat as fleas began popping off everywhere.

"DON'T HURT MY DARLING KITTY!" Doctor Animo yelled while stamping his feet.

Roger tossed the cat back out the door.

"N0OOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Doctor Animo shoved past Roger, nearly knocking him down, and chased the cat who was headed down the street to find some food and a less violently unstable potential owner.

"AUTHOR INSERT NAAAAAAAAAAAAME!" he shrieked while sobbing hysterically. He collapsed to his hands and knees for melodramatic effect and sobbed harder than he'd ever sobbed before.

"The fuck is wrong with you, you psycho? It's a damn stray cat! It didn't even want to stay with you. It ran off to go do stray cat things," Roger said as he came up behind Doctor Animo. "You're canonically the worst possible pet owner in existence, you know! Ya freak."

Doctor Animo turned back to him while ugly sobbing, causing Roger to cringe with disgust. "I LOVED THAT CAT WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING! EVEN THOUGH I JUST MET IT LITERALLY THREE MINUTES AGO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE BOND WE HAD!"

"No, I don't," Roger said as he backed up for safety. "Whatever, you freak."

"THIS CAT SHOWED UP RANDOMLY AT MY DOORSTEP OUT OF ALL OTHER DOORSTEPS! THAT MAKES ME SPECIAL!" Doctor Animo's demented original narration continued to push. At least they kept his crazy, although they've taken it to a whole new level. "I THINK THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR HAS SOME PROBLEMS THEY'RE PUSHING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER THEY TRY TO WRITE...BUT WHATEVER." He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

He collapsed on the floor and rolled to his side. Wait, wasn't he outside? Doctor Animo magically transported back to his apartment. He laid down again on the floor and continued to heave and hiccup with uncontrollable sobbing sobs. He figured he would just lay there and die because he didn't want to live anymore in a world without the adorable kitty cat he just met about seven minutes ago.

He threw himself against a random lizard tank and continued to sob hysterically.

"I won't let that evil fat man take you away from me, my beloved pets," he sobbed while crying through his tears. "Even though in the canon episode these stories keep being based off of, I left you all without a second thought when I went off to rob the M-Mart on my mutant frog. Logic dictates in the best scenario, you were taken out of the apartment and sent to various pet shops to be resold. The worst implies you all just starved to death if nobody was there to clean and re-rent the place for a few months. Point being, I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU. You are little more than tools for my use in world domination and general chaos."

There was yet another knock on the door. Doctor Animo choked back his sobs and wiped furiously at his reddened eyes. He opened the door to reveal Roger yet again.

"The author of the original fic is almost as batshit as you are in canon, Animo," Roger grunted.

Suddenly the cat jumped in through the window and clawed Roger's pant leg. He shrieked while jumping up and down as the cat crawled toward his groin.

Doctor Animo took advantage of the distraction to smash Roger in the head with a flying pan. He fell to the floor, hard, a trail of blood running down his forehead.

"Happy ending after all," Doctor Animo exclaimed. He held the cat and cried tears of joy. "Now let's go dispose of a body, my little precious." He nuzzled the kitty's nose to his. So kawaii.

The End


	3. Round 3

Roger the evil landlord pounded on the door of Doctor Animo's apartment one day, although the original author doesn't seem to be able to describe basic actions very well and it was written incredibly awkwardly until this moment.

"Open up, Animo! I know you're there," he yelled through the door. He kept on knocking until the door opened and he accidentally knocked on Animo's forehead.

"What the hell do you want?" Doctor Animo yelled as he rubbed his forehead.

"The same thing I always want when I show up here! The RENT!" He shoved past Doctor Animo and went into the apartment again, though it smells like shit and Animo always tries to kill him or something. "Now you're eight months past the rent! Usually I only let it go for six. I don't know why I just don't call the cops ahead of time to have you evicted instead of risking my life in the presence of a man I clearly known to be psychotic as of now."

"I love my animals more than life itself," Doctor Animo stated blankly. "I must care for them."

"Doesn't look like you care much for them, given the state of this apartment," Roger observed. "Look. Just give me the rent so I can get back to my own life, why don't ya? All you need to do is pay me. That's it! Then I'll continue to look the other way at your obvious psychosis. Until, say, you mutate a frog into a giant freakish monster and have it almost eat me."

Doctor Animo shook his head. He shrugged. "I don't have any money. I haven't spent all my funds on working on my Transmodulator, but instead have spent them all trying to feed all these animals I've stocked up. Not for use in my twisted experiments of mad science...but because I love animals so much, I just kept buying more and more. Call it an addiction. An addiction to love!"

Roger face palmed. "That's it. I'm calling the cops." He walked out. He was about to get into his car when he was struck by a hideously OOC plot concept. "No, wait," he said as he stared blankly into space. "I have a better idea. I will wait until Animo falls asleep and then steal his animals and sell them to various pet shops. That should cover the cost of the rent, heh heh, this line is actually more logical than the one the OP had written. That is sad."

Roger waited until 3AM and snuck into Doctor Animo's apartment. He was dressed in black ninja garb. He moved to a frog tank and tried to lift it before his back nearly went out and he was slapped in the face with an open palm of rationality.

"Wait! What the hell am I doing?! There's no realistic way this can be done by me. I'm out of shape. And there's a ton of animals in here in different containers that would never all fit in my car. Not to mention they'd start making a lot of noise when disturbed in any way. Who wrote this tripe?" He pulled off the ninja mask. "Plus I can't breathe in this thing!" He took several breaths before remembering the air smelled like a rank zoo and coughed.

He screamed when he saw the reflection approaching him in a lizard tank's glass and saw Doctor Animo staring at him menacingly.

"What are you doing," he whispered close to Roger's ear.

"Shitting my pants," Roger whimpered. "But also making one of the biggest mistakes of my life thanks to piss-poor writing."

"Indeed," Doctor Animo said before he threw a Brazilian Wandering spider at Roger's neck.

The End


	4. Round 4

Another freak blizzard caused mass chaos in Washington, D.C. while Doctor Animo sat inside his apartment and stared at his large assortment of animal specimens. Each and every one he considered to be his pets and not his guinea pigs for twisted unethical mad science. Can't forget to establish that cold, hard canonical fact! Repeatedly. Like a Creationist with the burden of proof lumped heavily on their own shoulders and absolutely no evidence to back it. It's easier to yell and stamp your foot and call everyone else trolls and hypocrites who don't watch Ben 10 than provide underlying evidence on how you came up with this particular assertion rather than pulled it straight out of your ass via obvious self-insertion fantasy.

"How cozy to be indoors during weather such as this." He sipped his cup of hot cocoa.

A knock at the door disrupted his perfect evening. He got up and answered it instead of ignoring it. He saw Roger, the generic angry landlord demanding rent. Yet again.

Oh, goodness. That's a damning epithet the original author just used. They literally call Animo "animal lover" in a sentence. That's confirmation they honestly do think Animo loves animals in the face of the loads of evidence to the contrary. Well, if that's what you'd call love towards animals. I think it says more about the original author than Animo himself. I'd hate to see what they think is abuse toward animals. Moving on with this massive train wreck.

"Why do you keep showing up here?" Doctor Animo groaned.

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T PAY THE FUCKING RENT! NOW IT'S TEN MONTHS PAST DUE!" Roger yelled. "And I keep getting written into these horrible stories. Over and over and over! Now hurry up and give me the rent so I can get outta here. It's colder than Jack Frost's balls!"

"All my funds go into my animal's food stock budget," Doctor Animo said. "Boy, it's like the original author never watched a single episode of Ben 10 and is entirely working off their own made up fantasy while having the actual gall to insist it's canon to every one who dares criticize or attempt to refute it. Or maybe they're a really clever troll stirring up reactionary lulz."

"Nah, that's been disproved long ago in another fandom when they hilariously did the exact same thing to another elderly male character with long white hair," said Roger, looking bored and annoyed. "They're completely legit. Just crazy. Kinda like you. No wonder they grabbed onto your butt so hard to project their issues onto. You must make a good female self-insert!" He started laughing sadistically.

Doctor Animo tried to shut the door. "Fuck off!"

"Hey!" Roger pushed the door back open. "I'm your landlord! You can't do this to me!"

"Yes I can," Doctor Animo growled while shoving back on the door. "This is a parody!"

He shoved the door closed, causing Roger to fall on his ass outside. Roger fumed as he stood up and knocked snow off his jacket. He grabbed the door knob and twisted it. Animo had locked it. He reached into his pocket and fumbled for his passkey. He gasped upon realizing it wasn't there.

Inside, Doctor Animo laughed menacingly as he tossed the passkey into the fireplace.

Roger pounded on the door. "ANIMO! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR! YOU STOLE MY PASSKEY! THAT'S PRIVATE PROPERTY, YOU ASSHOLE! ANIMO!"

Doctor Animo sat in his chair, ignoring the continued pounding at the door. It soon resumed at the window as Roger banged his palms against the glass.

"ANIMO! I MEAN IT! GIMMIE BACK THAT PASSKEY! DAMN IT, ANIMO! THAT'S IT, I'M COMING BACK WITH THE COPS!"

The pounding ceased and so did the yelling, indicating Roger had gone. Doctor Animo sighed and sipped at his hot cocoa once again while listening to the pleasant calming chitter of his various animal friends.

Then there came a new knock at the door.

"Damn, that was fast," Doctor Animo said, assuming Roger had brought the cops on his ass. He opened the door instead to find his old hated rival, Dr. Kelly standing there, quite inexplicably. "KELLY?"

He was obviously drunk, his nose reddened, a tell tale bottle of Shnops in his right hand. He wobbled unsteadily.

"Animo, you're a jerk. I've finally got the courage to tell you off," he slurred.

"Go home, Kelly. You're drunk," said Doctor Animo.

"You tried to murder me with a...with a zombie tyrannosaurus about a week ago. And that's not nice!" He burst into sobs. "I never did anything to you! I'm a nice man! With nice feelings."

Wow, OP based this a week after the attack and Animo's not in jail. Why am I writing a parody? The original parodies itself.

Roger showed up again and pushed Dr. Kelly out of the way. "HA! I DECEIVED YOU ABOUT LEAVING! I'm gonna call the cops eventually, but I want that passkey back."

"Both of you brainless assholes, get out of my apartment," Doctor Animo shouted.

"Apologize for trying to murder me," Kelly bawled.

"Give me back my passkey, Animo!"

"Never!"

Another knock on the door.

"Hang on, this keeps getting dumber and dumber." He opened the door and sure enough, there stood Ben Tennyson. "How are you back in Washington, D.C., Tennyson?"

"Why aren't you in prison?" Ben countered.

"Touché," said Doctor Animo.

"It all comes down down bad writing and borderline psychotic plotting," Ben said as he strolled in and wiped his feet all over the carpet. "Freak blizzards, me showing up outta nowhere to demand shelter inside your trashy stinking apartment. Nothing makes sense."

"If you don't give me that passkey, Animo, I'll punt you and your filthy animals out of here myself," Roger shouted and sounded like he meant it. His face had gone red with anger.

"No. I refuse to watch my adorable little furry friends die in a freak blizzard." He chained himself to a random pole that appeared in the middle of the room.

Ben ran around like an idiot with a short attention span, grinning stupidly at everything. "Cool! Neat! Wowzers! I've never seen a large variety of contained animals before! This is all obviously brand new to me! Did I mention nothing in this story makes any sense whatsoever and any sense of realism is nonexistent? I'm OOC every waking moment! Everyone is! It's hilarious! More hilarious that OP thinks this is canon and should be praised."

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY SHIT, TENNYSON!" Doctor Animo yelled as Ben mushed his face up against the glass of his lizard terrarium.

"Fine, don't blow a gasket, old man." Ben went to the TV and turned it on. Sumo Slammers was playing. He blasted the volume and parked himself in Animo's chair. He turned his head at Animo. "You got any snacks?

"GIVE ME THE PASSKEY BACK!"

"It's in the fireplace. Help yourself, you dick," said Doctor Animo as he plugged his ears.

Dr. Kelly kept crying. He wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to yell. I'm just feeling so emotional right now." He took another long drink from his bottle.

Ben rambled on. "Any potato chips, anything like that? How about pizza tots? You know I really should transform into something and beat your ass and get you back to jail. But for some reason, I don't feel like it right now. Lucky you. Seriously, Funions, maybe? Doritos? Off-brand Doritos? You seem like a junk food type of guy."

Doctor Animo screamed and ran out the front door into the blizzard rather than continue to be sentenced to utter torture within this dumb fanfiction that had been based off an even dumber one.

The End


	5. Round 5 Tag Team

One day in magical OOC fuck everything my headcanon is law land, alternatively known as this one spammy Not Quite a Troll but is Utterly Indistinguishable author's bizarre and terrifying weeaboo world at The Pit of Voles, or as we call it, the endless bastion of parody material, Doctor Animo was running around desperate to get food for his beloved pets.

He wandered aimlessly, probably for a few hours, until he bumped into his grumpy comedy relief landlord, Roger.

"Pay your rent, asshole," Roger growled.

"All my funds go into feeding and taking the best care of my animals who are not only there for me to do horrific experiments on like in canon, I swear," Doctor Animo snarled. "I love them."

"If you don't pay up, you get the boot, Animo," said Roger. "And I mean a literal boot along with that eviction. I'm gonna find the highest quality steel-toed boot I can get and KICK YOUR ASS!"

Doctor Animo stuck out his tongue and left Roger to stew in his own rage. He traveled down the unspecified street until he walked through a portal to New York's Chinatown area and bumped into Clancy. He stared at the blue bum with the bugs.

"What're you looking at, old man?"

"Someone with severe methemoglobinemia, apparently."

"This bitch wanted to throw me out of my Grandpa's old rotting apartment complex and tear it down for renovation. Then a kid called Ben Tennyson broke it, and his Granddad punched me in the face. That was like a week ago. I must have escaped jail," Clancy said.

"My landlord wants to kick me out for not paying rent," said Doctor Animo. "I also hate Ben Tennyson. I also love animals and am totally not using them as weapons for my own personal gain. We should team up and become roomies."

They magically transported themselves back to Washington and to Doctor Animo's old apartment he's still living in for the sake of the plot. Roger was there trying to tape an eviction notice to the door.

"Wait, I'll pay the rent," Doctor Animo said with an eerie smile.

"Really? That seems out of character for you, even in a parody fic," Roger said, looking astonished.

"Yeah. I'll pay you...IN SCREAMS!"

Doctor Animo motioned to Clancy. Clancy summoned a giant swarm of wasps, roaches, ants, and spiders of various breeds and toxicities to attack Roger. Roger screamed and ran for his life, jumping into his car, peeling out and speeding away down the street.

Doctor Animo laughed hysterically. "That ought to be enough to last him a few years. Now maybe he won't BUG us. Ha ha, pun." He slapped his knee.

"Not funny," said Clancy.

"Whatever. Let's go to the pet shop and look at the puppies."

"Cool."

They held hands and skipped down the street.

The End


	6. Round 6 Animo vs Clancy

One horrifyingly stupid day in a bad fic that was not written by a troll...oh boy.

Doctor Animo flopped himself on the broken couch with the intention of watching...seriously...Animal Planet.

That's the most basic thing you could come up with for characterization?

"YES, I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW," Doctor Animo yelled. "I FUCKING LOVE ANIMALS! I DO NOT AND NEVER HAVE DONE TWISTED SCIENTIFIC ABOMINATIONS TO THEM AND USED THEM FOR MY OWN BENEFIT WITHOUT A SINGLE CONCERN FOR THEIR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING! AND ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE HAS NEVER WATCHED BEN 10, NOR ANY OF ITS SEASONS, AND HAS NO IDEA WHO DOCTOR ANIMO IS AS A CHARACTER!"

He grabbed for his soda can on the table and saw it was covered in ants. He was about to smash the annoying pests which he had no current use for in one of his evil schemes until he noticed they were everywhere. They swarmed all over the TV, blocking the picture.

"Hey, you assholes! Stop covering up Animal Planet! I have the self-inserted characterization of a mentally regressive adult-child," he snarled. "One who's favorite past time is writing though they're not good at it and show absolutely zero signs of improvement in over 5 years and counting."

"They've actually gotten worse, if you compare," said a low eerie voice.

He forgot that Clancy was rooming with him from a few fics ago.

"CLARENCE!"

"What," the man in question said as he stuffed the remainder of a bag of Doritos into his mouth.

"Get your ants off my shit. I keep telling you, this is my half of the room. That's your half of the room!" Doctor Animo gestured for emphasis.

"They're ants, man. They do what they want," Clancy said. He took the soda when the ants moved from it and drank it.

"YOU CAN CONTROL THEM, YOU ASSHOLE! THAT'S NOT A DECENT EXCUSE!" Doctor Animo stared at his roomie drinking his previously owned soda. "Enjoy my backwash, you dick. I haven't brushed my teeth in three weeks."

Clancy shrugged. He continued to guzzle the beverage until the can was empty. Then he let out a loud belch. "You wanna have a picnic?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Doctor Animo turned to exit the room before he paused. He turned back and glared at Clancy while raising an eyebrow. "It's not a romantic picnic, is it?"

Clancy pondered for a moment. "No," he said.

Doctor Animo went and prepared some sandwiches to take on their delightfully ridiculous picnic in one sentence instead of the long-winded ill conceived multiple paragraphs from the original fic. Protip: you don't have to describe every little detail unless it's going to make for an interesting addition to the story. Please learn the priorities of writing constructive details versus needless ones. Why am I even giving this person writing tips they will never use?

They traveled to the park trying not to look super gay. Even though they did. Maybe if they stopped holding hands and skipping everywhere.

"These are just like the picnics Argost and Munya used to take years ago," Doctor Animo noted.

"Yeah, everyone with half a brain already noticed that," said Clancy.

Clancy's horde of insects got all over everything.

"You really bring the ants to the picnic," Doctor Animo said as he waved flies out of his face and brushed ants off his sandwich.

This was a better joke than the original story ended on.

Learn to write before you spam a category with twenty-million stories no one in their right mind would ever want to read while hypocritically making fun of everyone around you for not being able to write well when they WRITE BETTER THAN YOU.

The End


	7. Round 7

Doctor Animo picked up his frog from the terrarium and kissed it on the head. "You are so cute and I love you like family. I would die if something bad happen to you. No joke. I would curl up and sob for hours and then commit suicide. This is my proper canon characterization." He reached over and switched on the radio. It blasted some Linkin Park.

"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"

Animo nodded his head along with the cringey teen appealing emoness of the olden days. "This speaks to my soul."

There came a familiar well-timed knock upon the door.

"ANIMO, PAY YOUR FUCKING RENT! IT'S BEEN 11 MONTHS," yelled Roger through the door.

"Well, whose fault is that?"

"FURRY FRIENDS! VARIOUS COPIED LINES OF DIALOGUE FROM THE EPISODE WASHINGTON B.C.!"

"I will always be with my dearest little furry friends because I love them so much," Doctor Animo whispered.

"No," Roger said as he broke down the door.

Roger kicked Doctor Animo out and a freak blizzard arrived and killed everyone.

The End


	8. Round 8

D'Void got out of the Null Void and appeared in good old Washington D.C. to enact vicious revenge upon the masses. He wandered without purpose until he decided to go to his old apartment. It hadn't been changed since he'd left it way back in the second episode of the original series. The sign with his name on it was still there and everything.

"Huh. Roger really was a fat lazy fuck," said D'Void. He looked around. "It's good that though I exited the Null Void where my kormite fueled drill-furnace was and didn't think to take anything else to keep me powered up here on earth, I have my super powers anyway." He opened the door to his apartment. "Also thankfully this door isn't locked."

The apartment was unchanged, except for all his old animals were various skeletons and piles of compost now.

"Yep, nothing has changed." He stopped to have some intrusive thoughts about his old landlord and Doctor Kelly before footsteps caused him to turn around. He gasped. "Huh?"

Roger glared at him. "Animo? Damn, this is convenient." He recoiled at the sight of the Null Guardians who were crammed in the apartment alongside D'Void. "Aaaah! What are those things?" He stared at Doctor Animo AKA D'Void's hot new steroided body. "How'd you get so big and muscular? And tan?"

D'Void wagged his finger teasingly. "That's for me to know and you or Ben Tennyson to never find out. I'm still preoccupied with the time you evicted me, you fat fuck."

Roger scowled as he straightened his tie. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"What are you doing here?" D'Void countered.

"I asked you first!"

"Feh, fine. I had the irresistible urge to reminisce about my old apartment from the original series that had entirely no significant meaning to me, but the original author seems to think it did. And I miss all my sad poor dead pets, of course. Boo hoo. I love animals." He pretended to wipe tears from his eyes while staring blankly. "So what's your story?"

"I was wandering around aimlessly when I had the sudden urge to come here. Like something was forcing me against my will," said Roger while looking uncomfortable.

"Yeah, welcome to my world," said D'Void. He shrugged. "Well, as long as you're here and I can enact my horrific revenge on you."

"Cue screaming," Roger cried as he ran out the door and down the street with a bunch of Null Guardians on his ass, snarling and shooting mouth beams. "ANIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, SOMEHOW!"

"Now to find Doctor Kelly and do the same thing," said D'Void cheerfully. "One day I'll get over my petty fixations and move back to dominating the world." He squealed as a Null Guardian rolled over so he could scratch its tummy-tum. "One day, but not today! Eeeee, Null Guardians are cute and I love them! Scritchies, scritchies!"

Luckily, Vilgax chose that day to once again challenge Ben Tennyson for the Omnitrix.

The End


End file.
